Today I want to explain to you an important Thai concept which is crucial if you are planning on staying in Thailand longer than the average tourist. Actually, there are quite a few things which often lead to a misunderstanding between Thais and foreigners. However, today I want to focus on nam jai which is Thai generosity and sam-neuk boon koon which is honoring debts, Thai style.
Within the first few years I was in Thailand, I learned about nam-jai. It is an easy to understand concept. However, it wasn't until a particularly unpleasant incident happened that I found out about the repayment system called sam-neuk-boon-koon. There is a Thai person who suddenly one day became upset with me. They felt that I wasn't paying enough deference towards them and that I hadn't been one hundred per cent loyal to them. That person went on to remind me that it was them that had shown me around when I first came to Thailand.
At the time I couldn't understand why they would suddenly be angry. As far as I was concerned, I had said "thank you" to them at the time and the subject should have been closed. After all, many years had passed since. Anyway, I thought I had paid back my "debt" many times by helping them with their business - often in my freetime. I didn't really understand what this person's problem was or why they would be dragging up past history in this manner.
There is a recently published book called "Thailand Fever" that explains these concepts remarkably well. What is unique about this book is that it is aimed at both partners in a Thai-Western relationship. The book is written in both English and Thai so that both people involved can fully understand each other. We often talk about "do's and don'ts" for foreigners visiting Thailand. However, what is also needed is a list for Thai people who come in contact with foreigners. Maybe if there was one in existence before, then the above problem I experience wouldn't have arisen. This book helps explain this problem for both sides.
Understaning Thai People
By Richard Barrow
Today I want to explain to you an important Thai concept which is crucial if you are planning on staying in Thailand longer than the average tourist. Actually, there are quite a few things which often lead to a misunderstanding between Thais and foreigners. However, today I want to focus on nam jai which is Thai generosity and sam-neuk boon koon which is honoring debts, Thai style.
Within the first few years I was in Thailand, I learned about nam-jai. It is an easy to understand concept. However, it wasn't until a particularly unpleasant incident happened that I found out about the repayment system called sam-neuk-boon-koon. There is a Thai person who suddenly one day became upset with me. They felt that I wasn't paying enough deference towards them and that I hadn't been one hundred per cent loyal to them. That person went on to remind me that it was them that had shown me around when I first came to Thailand.
At the time I couldn't understand why they would suddenly be angry. As far as I was concerned, I had said "thank you" to them at the time and the subject should have been closed. After all, many years had passed since. Anyway, I thought I had paid back my "debt" many times by helping them with their business - often in my freetime. I didn't really understand what this person's problem was or why they would be dragging up past history in this manner.
There is a recently published book called "Thailand Fever" that explains these concepts remarkably well. What is unique about this book is that it is aimed at both partners in a Thai-Western relationship. The book is written in both English and Thai so that both people involved can fully understand each other. We often talk about "do's and don'ts" for foreigners visiting Thailand. However, what is also needed is a list for Thai people who come in contact with foreigners. Maybe if there was one in existence before, then the above problem I experience wouldn't have arisen. This book helps explain this problem for both sides.
http://www.thaicultureblogs.com/index.php/understanding-thai-people